A lot has happened since my last post. The biggest thing being that I had my rainbow baby; a perfectly healthy bundle of joy! They call a baby born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss a rainbow baby because after a period of darkness, there is something bright and beautiful to look forward to.
When I talk with others who have experienced loss, I get this question a lot, “what was being pregnant again like.” Luckily, I would consider my second pregnancy to be pretty uneventful. Sure I was nervous, but I also knew that the complications I had with Adalie were unlikely to happen again. Turner Syndrome is a random event.
I still remember my very first ultrasound. I was 8 weeks, 4 days pregnant and I was a ball of anxiety…which still happens to this day when I see my OB/GYN. Before my ultrasound with my doctor, the nurses in the clinic all came to hug and congratulate me which was a great start to a nerve-racking appointment. When my doctor came in, she assured me that there was a greater chance of seeing a perfectly healthy baby than not, and that is exactly what we saw. A perfect little peanut. I may have cried a few tears of happiness, and smiles filled the room. It was such a sweet appointment.
At that appointment I opted to do an early genetic screening at 10 weeks, which was the earliest I was able. I declined this with Adalie. I remember when the nurse called me on November 27th with my results – no abnormalities detected! She also revealed the sex of our baby! I couldn’t wait to get home from work and surprise Ryan.
And, it’s a……….
We were both elated! We went to Chuy’s to celebrate that night – I wanted cheese all the time anyway. Perfect.
Unfortunately we would wake up the next morning to learn of another tragedy. Ryan’s best friend, Keaton, lost his battle to cancer early that morning. That is how our sweet baby boy got his name.
My husband’s family has a long line of men named John who mostly are called by their middle names.
We picked Keaton for obvious reasons. What better way to honor Ryan’s best friend.
The coming months were spent preparing for Baby Keaton to arrive. We painted the nursery and I drove Ryan absolutely crazy trying to get everything perfect. I still am convinced the pictures hanging on the back wall aren’t straight.
My pregnancy remained pretty uneventful. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, but it wasn’t all that difficult to modify my diet slightly. This also meant I got extra ultrasounds (biophysical profiles), which I liked because I got to check on baby frequently. It gave me piece of mind.
Ryan and I took a little vacation to New York before Keaton came. That was our last vacation to date and I’m dying to go on another.
After we came home from New York, time flew by. My baby shower was just a couple weeks later and before we knew it, my induction was scheduled.
I also tried everything I could think of to (safely) get labor going before my scheduled induction, which was June 11th.
My efforts were to no avail. I may not have gone into labor, but I do think the exercise ball helped relieve the pelvic pain I had been having.
It was finally June 11th; nearly 1 year after Adalie’s heavenly birthday, Ryan and I parked at Andrews Women’s Hospital once again. Just like on June 29th of 2017, it was 5:00am. There were few cars in the parking garage, but this time we didn’t feel emptiness. We were elated because in a few short hours, we would meet our baby boy. We were nervous because now we had to figure out how to care for a newborn.
It seems like many people have strong opinions on inductions, but mine went great! After Pitocin was started it wasn’t long before my doctor came and broke my water. Contractions became pretty intense after that.
I attempted to use nitrous oxide, or what you may know as laughing gas (commonly used at the dentist) for pain relief. Completely ineffective. Maybe I waited too long. Maybe it didn’t work. All I know is I was thankful for the epidural that came shortly after.
Time to have a Birthday Party!
Keaton was born on June 11th, 2018 at 3:30pm. He weighed 6lbs 3oz and was 18.25in long. We felt all the feels along with a deeper appreciation for the baby we would be blessed to bring home with us.
This. This is how it was supposed to feel all along. We know that baby boy has at least 2 special guardian angels watching over him. RIP Adalie and Big Keaton.
Stay tuned to see many of the ways we have decided to memorialize Adalie and how we celebrated her first heavenly birthday.